This afternoon I’ve considered what I might write about because, after all, I did say I was recommitting to blogging every day. I was kind of stressing over it…because I committed to doing it…. What is it with that word? Commitment. That thought? Commitment. That energy? Commitment.
I feel like I often commit to things without thinking them through…without fully committing to what it will take for me to follow through with my commitment. Then, when I don’t follow through, I have an opportunity to prove once again that I’m incapable of commitment which means I am out of integrity with myself.
Yuck. Why would I do that? Why would anyone do that?
I started to write that it’s important to commit to something and follow through on that commitment. But why is that important? Does that prove my integrity? Does it prove that I can keep my word? What is commitment anyway – a promise that I will do something now and always? Or just a promise I will do something in the future?
I’m not providing any answers here, I’m just sitting with my questions – what exactly does commitment mean to me? What does it mean if I keep my commitment? What does it mean if I don’t keep my commitment? If I didn’t keep my commitment, was it really a commitment?
Hmmmm….. I think tonight I will commit to blogging when I am rested and feeling a stream of consciousness…because that’s when I love to write…that’s when the love comes through. And LOVE is what I am really committed to!